Campus Life & the "situation"

[kevinfootes]

No, not Mike Sorrentino. I'm talking about the "situation" with our players.

Who on the board lived on campus at SLU?

I lived on campus for 2 years. Very early on they took all of the students living on campus (male and female) and had everyone go into one of the bigger lecture halls east of Grand. They told everyone in the room that sexual activity in campus housing was against the rules and you could be thrown out if you were caught. Then they spelled it out clearly for the male students that "no means no" under any circumstances and at any time. They pretty much said that if you were accused of inappropriate conduct (as a male) you were guilty until proven innocent. Were people having sex in the dorms? Of course they did. However, I also knew of a few people who got kicked out of school altogether for doing a lot less than what Kwamain did. There was a clear message given that in a "he said, she said" scenario, the guy was most likely going to lose out.

Fair? No.

Clear message? Absolutely.

I was in the dorms 20 years ago. I can only imagine that for legal reasons they do even more upfront now than they did back then. Can anyone who lives on campus now (or lived there more recently than I did many years ago) verify that this sort of seminar still takes place? Maybe it doesn't.

Whether or not the players were treated fairly can be debated. However, if you were living on campus when I lived there you souldn't have been at all surprised by this outcome. Again, I knew people who were kicked out of school for much less than what was indicated in the police report.

[Pistol]

Sounds like they hit the subject a lot harder when you were there than when I was (Fall 2001-Spring 2005). After we moved in to the dorms freshman year, each floor had a meeting with the RA when he/she spelled out all the rules. Marguerite also had a meeting for the whole dorm to introduce the RAs' bosses and dorm chaplain. We had already been told by the RA what the hours were for opposite sexes in rooms and stuff like that but no one ever got into "no means no" or things like that.

I lived on a co-ed floor with a lot of wild people, and I can tell you that every rule was broken and then some. It was wonderful. Marguerite went single sex for floors my sophomore year, and the atmosphere wasn't quite as fun; lot less partying and a lot quieter. I don't think it was this way for every floor, though.

Anyway, I had a friend kicked out for a he-said, she-said hookup. It happened about 6 weeks into school. He lived in Gries, where it happened. The judicial board met right after the girl (after a week of persuasion by her friends) reported it, and he was moved to the end of the basement of Fusz. Then a bunch of sexual assault awareness posters and information were hung up around Gries/Clemens/Walsh on all the corkboards. He was that year's "example". It was scary for everyone because it seemed like a routine hookup turned into something that could happen to anyone at anytime. Every situation is different and I would never take sexual assault likely, but he got screwed by the judicial board very badly and it impacted his life severely.

[kevinfootes]

Sounds like they hit the subject a lot harder when you were there than when I was (Fall 2001-Spring 2005). After we moved in to the dorms freshman year, each floor had a meeting with the RA when he/she spelled out all the rules. Marguerite also had a meeting for the whole dorm to introduce the RAs' bosses and dorm chaplain. We had already been told by the RA what the hours were for opposite sexes in rooms and stuff like that but no one ever got into "no means no" or things like that.

I lived on a co-ed floor with a lot of wild people, and I can tell you that every rule was broken and then some. It was wonderful. Marguerite went single sex for floors my sophomore year, and the atmosphere wasn't quite as fun; lot less partying and a lot quieter. I don't think it was this way for every floor, though.

Anyway, I had a friend kicked out for a he-said, she-said hookup. It happened about 6 weeks into school. He lived in Gries, where it happened. The judicial board met right after the girl (after a week of persuasion by her friends) reported it, and he was moved to the end of the basement of Fusz. Then a bunch of sexual assault awareness posters and information were hung up around Gries/Clemens/Walsh on all the corkboards. He was that year's "example". It was scary for everyone because it seemed like a routine hookup turned into something that could happen to anyone at anytime. Every situation is different and I would never take sexual assault likely, but he got screwed by the judicial board very badly and it impacted his life severely.

You were there shortly after I lived on campus. If you're interested, send me a PM and I tell you about a guy I knew and the circumstances of he got kicked out.

[kcbilliken]

been away from the board a while.

I lived on campus all four years, clemens, marchetti, and the village for 2 years from 2006-2010. When I was in Clemens in Gries our RA's riled us all together and gave us a speech of what we couldn't do. They were great. Don't get caught with booz blah blah. told us when cohab was etc. they were very honest about the freshman year experience. needless to say their lack of sternness equaled a very wild floor. the maintenance woman wrote the floor was making her life hell on our bathroom mirror. may have set the record for damages. some other group members were on my floor they may agree ha. but no, they didn't really ever go into sexual assault or a no means no type speech. instead they asked if we folded or crumpled our toilet paper to wipe. I know from speaking with younger students in the following years they became much more to the "T" on the rules however. we didn't have any issues with so called sexual deviance and had no one kicked out of our floor. I'd be interested to hear what current students have to say about their experience though.

[billiken89]

i'm currently a senior and ive never heard anything about sexual activity/no means no from any higher ups or even the RAs. freshman year in gries, we got the talk about cohab but that was just telling us we couldnt have opposite sex members in our rooms after a certain hour. i vaguely remember seeing like a guest speaker freshman year, she talked about how she had gotten raped during her college time but i really don't remember what her actual talk was about. it definitely wasn't something required for all freshman though....not quite sure why I was there

[billikenfan05]

i'm currently a senior and ive never heard anything about sexual activity/no means no from any higher ups or even the RAs. freshman year in gries, we got the talk about cohab but that was just telling us we couldnt have opposite sex members in our rooms after a certain hour. i vaguely remember seeing like a guest speaker freshman year, she talked about how she had gotten raped during her college time but i really don't remember what her actual talk was about. it definitely wasn't something required for all freshman though....not quite sure why I was there

I transferred in and lived in Marguerite my first year at SLU. The meeting was about the same as what Bill89 said. I also got a conduct packet never really read it.

[DirtyRican]

I transferred in and lived in Marguerite my first year at SLU. The meeting was about the same as what Bill89 said. I also got a conduct packet never really read it.

The Problem should read all conduct packets going forward.

[Runnin'Billiken]

Current senior. Lived on campus from 2007-present. No speech in such stern terms at Reinert. Just the cohab rules and "oh yeah, sex in the dorms is technically against the rules." Not that it mattered. One of my roommates lived in his girlfriend's room most of the year, and the other's girlfriend sometimes stayed in ours. Never had a problem with it. RA's weren't looking to get you in trouble as long as we weren't annoying other students or bothering them.

[Supersonic]

Lived in Clemens Freshmen year 1988. Sounds like dorm life is MUCH different now. I assume the halls don't smell like weed 24 x 7, kegs in rooms and everyone getting their freak on isn't the norm now?

[billikenfan05]

Lived in Clemens Freshmen year 1988. Sounds like dorm life is MUCH different now. I assume the halls don't smell like weed 24 x 7, kegs in rooms and everyone getting their freak on isn't the norm now?

Gries elevators still smell like weed 24/7

[Supersonic]

Gries elevators still smell like weed 24/7

What a shocker

[SaintLouBlue]

I was there from 96-2000. Don't remember ever getting a talk on this. Maybe we did. I lived in Reinert (coed floor) for my first year and a half and then got in village when it opened for the rest of my stay at SLU. I remember the cohabitation thing, but it was rarely monitored especially with it being a coed floor...also made it easier to check friends in for overnight stays because you just had them check in with someone of that sex on your floor. After school I did live in Grand Forest for a year or so while I worked downtown. Anyway, I don't remember ever hearing anything about the risk of expulsion, but I think it was just "assumed" you wouldn't force anything to happen...

[kevinfootes]

I was there from 96-2000. Don't remember ever getting a talk on this. Maybe we did. I lived in Reinert (coed floor) for my first year and a half and then got in village when it opened for the rest of my stay at SLU. I remember the cohabitation thing, but it was rarely monitored especially with it being a coed floor...also made it easier to check friends in for overnight stays because you just had them check in with someone of that sex on your floor. After school I did live in Grand Forest for a year or so while I worked downtown. Anyway, I don't remember ever hearing anything about the risk of expulsion, but I think it was just "assumed" you wouldn't force anything to happen...

Thanks to all who have replied. I'm surprised they're doing less on the subject now than 20 years ago. If the players involved would have been brought up on these charges when I was at SLU, the only surprise would be that they were given an opportunity to re-apply.

[saluki762]

I lived in Marguerite (96-97) and Clemens (97-98) and received the same info as you Kevin. It was very much put out there, If you hook up with a drunk girl and she later claim it wouldn't have happened sober you were screwed. I worked as a front desk worker so I am not sure if it was in those meetings or during floor meetings but it was very well outlined during the first week I was on campus.