chillinthemost Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Twas the night before Portland, when all through the campus Not a Billiken was stirring, not even the hot Gamma puss. The basketballs were placed on the ballrack with care, In hopes that John Stamos would soon be there. The SLUnatics were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of Dwayne Evans danced in their heads. And a Freshman in her dress, and I in my checkerpants, Had just settled in, for a late night no-pants dance. When out on the Herman there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what the matter. Away from the ***** and certain next day rash, Tore open the shutters and revealed my moustache. The moon on the breast of the green luscious grass Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects white ass. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a young man in a jersey, with a Zima up his rear. With a backwards hat, so excited and alive, I knew in a moment it must be Billiken05. More rapid than Ramblers his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name! “Now Douglass! now, Dobbs! now, Diener and Hudson! On, Claggett! On, Reed! On, on Bonner and Burden! To the top of the arch! To the top of Fusz Hall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all! And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The yelling and screaming of a crazy man toking poof poof As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney Guy Phillips came down. He was dressed all in blue, from his head to his toe, And his voice was all raspy with curses he yelled at my hoe. A bottle of Jack he flung over his back, And looked like a bum, and as if he might ######. His eyes-how they twinkled! His voice so scarry! He demanded to see Dwight, or some guy named dlarry. His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow. The cherry of a joint he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly! He had a chubby and the freshman lady did see And I laughed when she started to take a knee! A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know he was taking her to bed. He spoke not a word, but went straight to work, And filled her two hole, then turned with a jerk. And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up in her guts he rose! He sprang to his feet, to Reed he gave a whistle, And away he ran like a foul with no whistle. But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight, “Not a word to anyone, or it’s the end of Dwight!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHEESE Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Gotta be shittin' me... A poem without mention of Porter Moser? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Box and Won Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 You had me at hot Gamma puss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjray Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 >>“Now Douglass! now, Dobbs! now, Diener and Hudson! On, Claggett! On, Reed! On, on Bonner and Burden!<< Nicely done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonka Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Reminds me of the one I wrote in 2004 or 2005...good job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillikenROAR Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yah..somebody forgot one of your 1,699 posts on this board. tisk tisk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonka Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yah..somebody forgot one of your 1,699 posts on this board. tisk tisk.How dare them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjray Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 I was thinking it could have used a Pee Wee Leonard reference (to go with Luther Burden) but that's a quibble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youjustgotKMed Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 the only thing i was able to gather from this poem is that you have a strange mind and a stranger sex life. but interesting none the less, gave me a couple chuckles started to get confused at "gave lustre to mid-day of objects white ass" and stayed confused until "and laying a finger aside of his nose, and gave her a nod up in her guts he rose" (drug reference?) conclusion: you were definitely in a frat at slu, and often played the stereotype out to the fullest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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