OddVulcan355

My name's Rico. I'm 20, but I look 12. I wear bear ears, it keeps the sun out of my eyes and I'm always cold even in the summer.I realize when I walk around I look grumpy and unapproachable, but really it's just bright outside and I'm just squinting - or tired, or bored, or thinking about something completely irrelevant, off topic and spacing out. I get lost easily and I get told I'm weird, a lot, but apparently it's in a good way. I love free food - and can be bribed by it(especially sweets) most of the time.

I'ma transfer student to SLU, though I've been wandering the halls and been involved in things around campus since I was 8; my dad is a professor in the Aviation Engineering Department. To be perfectly honest, and with no disrespect to the school, I really, actually...I don't want to be here. As I said, my dad is a professor here, and, well, it's actually cheaper for me to go to school here, at SLU, then to continue at the community college where I was previously (and loved with all my heart).

Community college? WHAT?! I know right? But the teachers there, I really connected to them well and had very good relationships with them, I miss the small classes with close knit students and debates and I had the greatest friends in the world always at my side (they still are, just across the river, however)but I miss them on this campus. Where I was...it just felt right. It was comfortable; the classes and teachers, they were...they were fantastic. If I had more money, I would have just stayed there a while longer before transferring. It's kind of ironic right? Wishing to have more money to go to community college then here right? Hahaha. ; :::sighs::: Well...anyway...

I don't mean to sound ungrateful-I know how hard so many students and families work to get here, and it feels like I just got through because of family relation and not much else-and on probation I might add, so it makes me feel even crummier that I could have taken a spot that someone else really deserved and actually wanted. SLU is a great school don't get me wrong,it IS wonderful, with a beautiful campus and it has a great reputation and credentials,but, I don't think it is for me.

For one, this is a Jesuit school and I, well, I'm an atheist. On this campus, mostly, I feel alienated and lonely. I haven't been able to identify with anyone I've met, or really engage in any conversation other then saying "hello" and receiving a blunt "hello" back without any other interaction or any slight hint or inkling of wanting to continue a conversation with me. Sometimes I feel like just walking into the middle of campus and standing on top of a rock and shouting into the sea of people "HELLOOOOO!!! MY NAME IS RICO!!! IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE!!?" because, it seems no one really interesting is out there, and I'm sorry if that offends you.

I'm a little bit crazy, very dorky, a bit odd, extremely goofy and very nerdy. I still play with Pokemon cards, I still watch cartoons, I like playing games with friends and I still like finding bugs and watching them crawl for an hour or so and watch them go about their buggy life oblivious to big feet stomping around them. I'm simple and complex, but here, so many people look the same that it's creepy. I don't enjoy the same enthusiasm as some for their religious beliefs and religious clubs, so don't look so offended. Often in my head it goes "Why can't weee be friiiends, why can't weee be friiiends, why can't wee be friends, why can't we be friends". Hahaha. I don't care what you believe in, but don't try to drag me to mass or a bible discussion after FCA sports. Mommy and Daddy don't pay for everything (they do help with what they can however) and I don't have a lot of money, I'm broke over half the time, I work hard for what I have so being arrogant and carelessly spending money offends and infuriates me, especially if people brag about it.

I'm pretty damn liberal, outspoken and have never really been sheltered from anything my whole life. I was shocked when this chic was telling people how she wasn't allowed to watch a movie because of drug references- in high school. Actually, I am shocked by A LOT of the things I hear just passing by or eves dropping (don't lie, you've all done it). It's scary some of the things I hear, and a lot of people on this campus are in for some real shell shock once they enter the real world.

I hate Disney.I hate Disney singers, shows and most of their movies. I hate Hana Montana. I hate Twilight. I am not a big partier with booze and dancing, but I love movie nights with tons of snacks, nerds and card games complete with dirty and stupid jokes and playful jabs and bantering, nerding it out with the latest science or tech news, etc. I used to have that...I miss it. Also, music is my passion, and there is no marching band here, which was the main reason I wasn't going to transfer voluntarily, and anyone who has ever been in field band knows that concert and pep band is no substitute.

So...that about sums that up. I feel like I am going against the grain here, being at this school is just not a good fit for me. Again, I'm sorry if that offends some people, and I'm sorry if I sound ungrateful, but it feels good to be honest about things. Honestly, I don't think I could lie about loving it here anyway, because I fail epically at lying. I do, however, hope to make the best of this situation, I hope to come to love this school and it's people and staff, just like how I love SWIC.